Institutional and systemic failure

Being harmed or failed while in the military institution

Being harmed within the military institution itself. A chain of command that failed to protect you, covered up harm, or actively participated in it. Reporting something and having it go nowhere or being retaliated against for reporting. The institution of the military failing the people inside it.

If some version of this is part of your story, you already know that the hardest part is rarely the memory itself. It is carrying it in a world that mostly does not want to hear about it. This fellowship exists so you do not have to carry it alone, and so you never have to explain it to someone who has no idea what it means.

What can follow an experience like this

No two people carry the same experience the same way. These are some of the effects that people with this experience often describe. Having some of them, all of them, or none of them says nothing about how real what happened to you was.

Complex or ongoing trauma and its effects When trauma happened repeatedly, over a long time, or at the hands of people who were supposed to care for you, the effects go deeper than a single event. Depression Not just sadness. Shame or feeling like something is broken in you Not guilt about something you did. Survivor's guilt A persistent sense that you should not have survived, or should have done more, or that your survival came at someone else's expense. Withdrawing and isolating from people A retreat inward that can feel like protection, and often is. Loss of faith or not knowing what to believe anymore Something happened and the belief system that held your world together stopped holding. Deep loneliness or never belonging anywhere This is different from pulling away. Giving up or feeling like nothing will change When nothing you did made a difference, when effort did not produce safety, when asking for help did not bring help, the nervous system eventually stops asking.

Nothing on this page is a diagnosis, and nothing here decides what is wrong with you, because nothing is wrong with you. Something happened to you. This page exists so that when you are ready, you can find people who understand it from the inside.

You do not have to carry this alone.

Bridge of Hope Recovery is a free, anonymous, peer-led fellowship for trauma survivors. Meetings run throughout the week by phone, by video, and in person. No cost, no waitlist, no one asking for your real name.

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