Abandonment

Being left by a parent who chose not to stay

A parent who left and did not come back. Who chose a new life, a new partner, substances, or simply themselves over staying. Whether there was an explanation or not. Whether they showed up occasionally or disappeared completely.

A parent who chooses to leave hands a child a question that can run for a lifetime. What was wrong with me. Nothing was. Adults leave for reasons that live entirely inside themselves, but children always fill the silence with self-blame. Setting that answer down, at whatever age you are now, is some of the deepest work this fellowship holds.

What can follow an experience like this

No two people carry the same experience the same way. These are some of the effects that people with this experience often describe. Having some of them, all of them, or none of them says nothing about how real what happened to you was.

Anxious attachment Holding on hard. Trust issues Trust that was broken, repeatedly, by people who were supposed to be safe. Depression Not just sadness. Shame Not guilt about something you did. Identity disturbance Not being able to answer simple questions about yourself. Fear of being abandoned Not just not wanting people to leave. Loss of meaning The questions that will not resolve. Loneliness This is different from pulling away.

Nothing on this page is a diagnosis, and nothing here decides what is wrong with you, because nothing is wrong with you. Something happened to you. This page exists so that when you are ready, you can find people who understand it from the inside.

You do not have to carry this alone.

Bridge of Hope Recovery is a free, anonymous, peer-led fellowship for trauma survivors. Meetings run throughout the week by phone, by video, and in person. No cost, no waitlist, no one asking for your real name.

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