Abandonment

A parent keeping you from having a relationship with your other parent

One parent, or whoever controlled your access, preventing you from seeing or having a relationship with your other parent. Through a custody arrangement, distance, refusal, or simply never making it possible, whether or not your other parent wanted a relationship with you. Including never knowing which parent actually made that choice.

A child does not get to see the paperwork or hear both sides of why a parent is missing. What is left is the fact of it: one parent is not in your life, and someone else decided that. You may not know whether your other parent ever tried, or whether they were shut out the same way you were kept from them. Not knowing is part of what this experience is.

What can follow an experience like this

No two people carry the same experience the same way. These are some of the effects that people with this experience often describe. Having some of them, all of them, or none of them says nothing about how real what happened to you was.

Fear of being abandoned Not just not wanting people to leave. Rage Anger that comes fast, feels bigger than the situation, or has caused harm to relationships or situations. Loss of meaning The questions that will not resolve. Ambiguous loss Grieving someone or something without the loss ever fully resolving. Trust issues Trust that was broken, repeatedly, by people who were supposed to be safe. Depression Not just sadness. Anxiety The background hum of dread that is always there. Identity disturbance Not being able to answer simple questions about yourself.

Nothing on this page is a diagnosis, and nothing here decides what is wrong with you, because nothing is wrong with you. Something happened to you. This page exists so that when you are ready, you can find people who understand it from the inside.

You do not have to carry this alone.

Bridge of Hope Recovery is a free, anonymous, peer-led fellowship for trauma survivors. Meetings run throughout the week by phone, by video, and in person. No cost, no waitlist, no one asking for your real name.

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