An effect of trauma
Not knowing who to trust
Trust that was broken, repeatedly, by people who were supposed to be safe. The result is either a wall that nobody gets through, or no wall at all, or swinging between the two. The person who trusts nobody and is exhausted by their own vigilance. The person who trusts everyone immediately and keeps getting hurt. Both are responses to the same underlying injury. Trust was not safe, and the nervous system made a policy decision about that.
One more thing worth saying plainly: this began as protection. At some point it was the thing that got you through. If it is still running now that the danger has passed, that is not a flaw in you. It is proof of how hard something once worked to keep you safe.
It can sound like
If any of those sentences live in your head too, you are in good company here.
Nothing on this page is a diagnosis, and nothing here decides what is wrong with you, because nothing is wrong with you. Something happened to you. This page exists so that when you are ready, you can find people who understand it from the inside.
You do not have to carry this alone.
Bridge of Hope Recovery is a free, anonymous, peer-led fellowship for trauma survivors. Meetings run throughout the week by phone, by video, and in person. No cost, no waitlist, no one asking for your real name.