Loss and grief

Losing a sibling

The death of a brother or sister. The loss of someone who shared your origin, your childhood, your history. Including losses that happened when you were both young and losses that happened in adulthood.

A sibling holds a copy of your childhood that nobody else has, and losing them takes that archive with them. Sibling grief is routinely treated as secondary to a parent's loss, leaving many mourners overlooked at their own brother's or sister's funeral. Your grief is not secondary here. You lost a witness to your whole life.

What can follow an experience like this

No two people carry the same experience the same way. These are some of the effects that people with this experience often describe. Having some of them, all of them, or none of them says nothing about how real what happened to you was.

Depression Not just sadness. Recent grief Not all grief is stuck or complicated. Insomnia Difficulty falling asleep. Anxiety The background hum of dread that is always there. Identity disturbance Not being able to answer simple questions about yourself. Codependency The person who holds everyone else together while quietly falling apart. Survivor's guilt A persistent sense that you should not have survived, or should have done more, or that your survival came at someone else's expense. Prolonged grief Grief that did not follow the expected path.

Nothing on this page is a diagnosis, and nothing here decides what is wrong with you, because nothing is wrong with you. Something happened to you. This page exists so that when you are ready, you can find people who understand it from the inside.

You do not have to carry this alone.

Bridge of Hope Recovery is a free, anonymous, peer-led fellowship for trauma survivors. Meetings run throughout the week by phone, by video, and in person. No cost, no waitlist, no one asking for your real name.

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