An effect of trauma

Not knowing who you are, or experiencing multiple parts or identities

A self that shifts depending on who you are with. No stable sense of what you want, what you believe, or what you value independent of other people's expectations. Or a more pronounced experience of being different people in different contexts, with significant gaps between them. Identity forms through consistent mirroring and safe attachment. When those were absent or disrupted, identity does not always form the way it should.

It can sound like

“I do not know who I am.” “I am a different person around different people.” “I do not know what I actually want.” “I feel like I am performing.” “I change myself depending on who I am with.”

If any of those sentences live in your head too, you are in good company here.

Experiences this often follows

Effects do not come from nowhere. These are some of the experiences that people who carry this one often describe. You do not need to have been through any of them for what you feel to be real.

Nothing on this page is a diagnosis, and nothing here decides what is wrong with you, because nothing is wrong with you. Something happened to you. This page exists so that when you are ready, you can find people who understand it from the inside.

You do not have to carry this alone.

Bridge of Hope Recovery is a free, anonymous, peer-led fellowship for trauma survivors. Meetings run throughout the week by phone, by video, and in person. No cost, no waitlist, no one asking for your real name.

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