An effect of trauma

Guilt for having been there and not stopped it

The specific guilt that comes from having witnessed something and not stopped it. Different from survivor guilt, which is about surviving when someone else did not. This is the weight of having been there, having seen it happen, and not having changed what happened. Sometimes there was nothing you could have done. The guilt does not always factor that in. It just sits there and asks why you did not do something.

It can sound like

“I should have done something.” “I just stood there.” “I watched it happen.” “I cannot stop replaying it.” “Why did I freeze.” “I keep asking myself what I should have done differently.” “I could not move.” “I feel like I failed them.” “I was right there and I did nothing.” “I had one chance and I did not take it.”

If any of those sentences live in your head too, you are in good company here.

Experiences this often follows

Effects do not come from nowhere. These are some of the experiences that people who carry this one often describe. You do not need to have been through any of them for what you feel to be real.

Nothing on this page is a diagnosis, and nothing here decides what is wrong with you, because nothing is wrong with you. Something happened to you. This page exists so that when you are ready, you can find people who understand it from the inside.

You do not have to carry this alone.

Bridge of Hope Recovery is a free, anonymous, peer-led fellowship for trauma survivors. Meetings run throughout the week by phone, by video, and in person. No cost, no waitlist, no one asking for your real name.

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