Identity-based harm

Witnessing a hate crime or targeted attack against someone because of who they are

Being present when someone was attacked, harassed, or harmed because of their race, religion, sexuality, gender identity, or other identity. Watching targeted violence happen and not being able to stop it. Whether the person was a stranger or someone you knew, whether the attack was against a group you belong to or one you do not, what you saw is real.

If some version of this is part of your story, you already know that the hardest part is rarely the memory itself. It is carrying it in a world that mostly does not want to hear about it. This fellowship exists so you do not have to carry it alone, and so you never have to explain it to someone who has no idea what it means.

What can follow an experience like this

No two people carry the same experience the same way. These are some of the effects that people with this experience often describe. Having some of them, all of them, or none of them says nothing about how real what happened to you was.

Not knowing who to trust Trust that was broken, repeatedly, by people who were supposed to be safe. Rage or anger that is hard to control Anger that comes fast, feels bigger than the situation, or has caused harm to relationships or situations. Struggling to make sense of what happened to you The questions that will not resolve. Guilt for having been there and not stopped it The specific guilt that comes from having witnessed something and not stopped it. Flashbacks and reliving what happened After certain experiences, the brain can get stuck, replaying what happened through flashbacks, nightmares, or sudden intense reactions to things that remind you of it. Hypervigilance or always waiting for something bad The nervous system that learned to scan for danger all the time. Intergenerational trauma Some wounds predate your own life. Being traumatized by what you witnessed happen to someone else Your nervous system does not always distinguish between being the person something happened to and being the person who watched it happen to someone else.

Nothing on this page is a diagnosis, and nothing here decides what is wrong with you, because nothing is wrong with you. Something happened to you. This page exists so that when you are ready, you can find people who understand it from the inside.

You do not have to carry this alone.

Bridge of Hope Recovery is a free, anonymous, peer-led fellowship for trauma survivors. Meetings run throughout the week by phone, by video, and in person. No cost, no waitlist, no one asking for your real name.

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