Identity-based harm

Being harmed or targeted because of your sexual orientation

Being targeted, excluded, harassed, or harmed because of who you are attracted to. Slurs, violence, family rejection, community rejection, conversion attempts. The harm of being made to feel that who you love makes you wrong, broken, or unwelcome.

Being made to feel that who you love is a defect leaves marks, whether it came as slurs, rejection, violence, or years of quiet exclusion. Many survivors carry both the harm and the vigilance it taught. Who you love was never the problem. What was done to you about it was, and here that is simply understood, not debated.

What can follow an experience like this

No two people carry the same experience the same way. These are some of the effects that people with this experience often describe. Having some of them, all of them, or none of them says nothing about how real what happened to you was.

Hypervigilance The nervous system that learned to scan for danger all the time. Trust issues Trust that was broken, repeatedly, by people who were supposed to be safe. Depression Not just sadness. Shame Not guilt about something you did. Anxiety The background hum of dread that is always there. Identity disturbance Not being able to answer simple questions about yourself. Social withdrawal A retreat inward that can feel like protection, and often is. Suicidal thoughts Thoughts about not existing anymore.

Nothing on this page is a diagnosis, and nothing here decides what is wrong with you, because nothing is wrong with you. Something happened to you. This page exists so that when you are ready, you can find people who understand it from the inside.

You do not have to carry this alone.

Bridge of Hope Recovery is a free, anonymous, peer-led fellowship for trauma survivors. Meetings run throughout the week by phone, by video, and in person. No cost, no waitlist, no one asking for your real name.

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