War, conflict, and organized violence

Carrying moral injury from things you did or witnessed during service or conflict

Being haunted not just by what was done to you but by what you did, what you ordered, what you failed to stop, or what you witnessed without intervening. The particular weight of actions taken in a context of war or organized violence that conflict with your own values and sense of who you are.

If some version of this is part of your story, you already know that the hardest part is rarely the memory itself. It is carrying it in a world that mostly does not want to hear about it. This fellowship exists so you do not have to carry it alone, and so you never have to explain it to someone who has no idea what it means.

What can follow an experience like this

No two people carry the same experience the same way. These are some of the effects that people with this experience often describe. Having some of them, all of them, or none of them says nothing about how real what happened to you was.

Complex or ongoing trauma and its effects When trauma happened repeatedly, over a long time, or at the hands of people who were supposed to care for you, the effects go deeper than a single event. Dissociation or feeling detached from yourself Dissociation is what the nervous system does when what is happening is too much to stay present for. Trouble letting people in emotionally The wall that goes up when someone tries to get close. Addiction and what it has done to your life Addiction is not a moral failure. Thoughts about not wanting to be here Thoughts about not existing anymore. Exhaustion that sleep does not fix This is not tiredness. Keeping things on the surface to avoid feeling them The joke right when things get real. Self-harm Self harm is not about wanting to die.

Nothing on this page is a diagnosis, and nothing here decides what is wrong with you, because nothing is wrong with you. Something happened to you. This page exists so that when you are ready, you can find people who understand it from the inside.

You do not have to carry this alone.

Bridge of Hope Recovery is a free, anonymous, peer-led fellowship for trauma survivors. Meetings run throughout the week by phone, by video, and in person. No cost, no waitlist, no one asking for your real name.

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