An effect of trauma
Emotional numbing
Not depression exactly. More like the feelings stopped arriving, or arrived and could not be identified. Going through the motions. Watching your own life from a slight distance. People ask how you feel and you genuinely do not know. The numbness developed because feeling was too much. The problem is that it numbed everything, not just the pain.
Numbness was the fuse box cutting power before the storm could burn the house down. It protected you, and it is also why joy, grief, and love have been arriving muffled. Feeling comes back the way circulation returns to a sleeping limb, uncomfortable at first, then unmistakably alive. It helps to not be alone while that happens.
It can sound like
If any of those sentences live in your head too, you are in good company here.
Nothing on this page is a diagnosis, and nothing here decides what is wrong with you, because nothing is wrong with you. Something happened to you. This page exists so that when you are ready, you can find people who understand it from the inside.
You do not have to carry this alone.
Bridge of Hope Recovery is a free, anonymous, peer-led fellowship for trauma survivors. Meetings run throughout the week by phone, by video, and in person. No cost, no waitlist, no one asking for your real name.