Sexual violence

A parent or close family member telling you they had sexual feelings for you

A parent or another close family member telling you, at any age, that they had romantic or sexual feelings for you. Whether it was said once or more than once, whether anything else happened alongside it or not, and whether it happened when you were a child or after you were grown, including something said near the end of their life.

Hearing that from someone who was supposed to be family changes something that was supposed to be uncomplicated. It does not have to have included touch to be real, and it does not have to have happened more than once. What they said does not become smaller because of when they said it, or because you never got the chance to respond the way you would have wanted to.

What can follow an experience like this

No two people carry the same experience the same way. These are some of the effects that people with this experience often describe. Having some of them, all of them, or none of them says nothing about how real what happened to you was.

Trust issues Trust that was broken, repeatedly, by people who were supposed to be safe. Shame Not guilt about something you did. Anxiety The background hum of dread that is always there. Dissociation Dissociation is what the nervous system does when what is happening is too much to stay present for. Depersonalization Not feeling at home in your own body. Emotional dysregulation Reactions that feel disproportionate to the situation. Sexual dysfunction Trauma changes the body's relationship with physical intimacy. Not trusting your own memory Second guessing what you remember.

Nothing on this page is a diagnosis, and nothing here decides what is wrong with you, because nothing is wrong with you. Something happened to you. This page exists so that when you are ready, you can find people who understand it from the inside.

You do not have to carry this alone.

Bridge of Hope Recovery is a free, anonymous, peer-led fellowship for trauma survivors. Meetings run throughout the week by phone, by video, and in person. No cost, no waitlist, no one asking for your real name.

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