An effect of trauma
Dissociation
Dissociation is what the nervous system does when what is happening is too much to stay present for. It can feel like watching your life from outside your body. Like moving through fog. Like time disappearing. Like being in a room and not really being there. Like parts of your life you cannot fully remember. It developed because it worked. It kept you here. The problem is that it can become the default even when the danger is gone.
Checking out was the mind's best available move when leaving was impossible, and it deserves credit for getting you through. The trouble is that it does not resign once the danger ends. Coming back into your own life, minutes at a time, is gentle work, and noticing that you drifted is itself the skill, not a failure of it.
It can sound like
If any of those sentences live in your head too, you are in good company here.
Nothing on this page is a diagnosis, and nothing here decides what is wrong with you, because nothing is wrong with you. Something happened to you. This page exists so that when you are ready, you can find people who understand it from the inside.
You do not have to carry this alone.
Bridge of Hope Recovery is a free, anonymous, peer-led fellowship for trauma survivors. Meetings run throughout the week by phone, by video, and in person. No cost, no waitlist, no one asking for your real name.