An effect of trauma
Depersonalization
Not feeling at home in your own body. Looking at your hands and they do not feel like yours. Going through physical experiences without fully inhabiting them. The body feeling like a vessel you are operating rather than a self you are living in. For survivors of physical or sexual trauma this disconnection from the body often developed as protection. The body was where the harm happened, and stepping away from it was the only available response.
Leaving the body made sense when the body was where the harm was happening. Returning is slow, sensory, and entirely on your own schedule. A minute of noticing your feet, your breath, the chair holding you. There is no deadline. The body waits, and it is more forgiving than most people expect when they finally come back.
It can sound like
If any of those sentences live in your head too, you are in good company here.
Nothing on this page is a diagnosis, and nothing here decides what is wrong with you, because nothing is wrong with you. Something happened to you. This page exists so that when you are ready, you can find people who understand it from the inside.
You do not have to carry this alone.
Bridge of Hope Recovery is a free, anonymous, peer-led fellowship for trauma survivors. Meetings run throughout the week by phone, by video, and in person. No cost, no waitlist, no one asking for your real name.