An effect of trauma
Keeping things on the surface to avoid feeling them
The joke right when things get real. The subject change when a conversation goes too deep. Explaining your pain clinically and at length without feeling any of it. Making everyone laugh so nobody ever sees you struggle. Minimizing what happened before anyone else can. Deflection is a highly effective way of staying connected to people while making sure they never actually reach you. It keeps you safe and it keeps you alone at the same time.
One more thing worth saying plainly: this began as protection. At some point it was the thing that got you through. If it is still running now that the danger has passed, that is not a flaw in you. It is proof of how hard something once worked to keep you safe.
It can sound like
If any of those sentences live in your head too, you are in good company here.
Nothing on this page is a diagnosis, and nothing here decides what is wrong with you, because nothing is wrong with you. Something happened to you. This page exists so that when you are ready, you can find people who understand it from the inside.
You do not have to carry this alone.
Bridge of Hope Recovery is a free, anonymous, peer-led fellowship for trauma survivors. Meetings run throughout the week by phone, by video, and in person. No cost, no waitlist, no one asking for your real name.