An effect of trauma
Giving everything but unable to accept help
You can give endlessly. You are good at that. What you cannot do is let anyone see that you need something, ask for help without feeling ashamed, accept care without deflecting it, or let someone take care of you the way you take care of everyone else. Receiving requires vulnerability and vulnerability was not safe. So you became someone who gives and gives and never needs, which sounds generous but is actually a very effective way of making sure nobody ever gets close enough to hurt you.
One more thing worth saying plainly: this began as protection. At some point it was the thing that got you through. If it is still running now that the danger has passed, that is not a flaw in you. It is proof of how hard something once worked to keep you safe.
It can sound like
If any of those sentences live in your head too, you are in good company here.
Nothing on this page is a diagnosis, and nothing here decides what is wrong with you, because nothing is wrong with you. Something happened to you. This page exists so that when you are ready, you can find people who understand it from the inside.
You do not have to carry this alone.
Bridge of Hope Recovery is a free, anonymous, peer-led fellowship for trauma survivors. Meetings run throughout the week by phone, by video, and in person. No cost, no waitlist, no one asking for your real name.