Emotional and psychological harm

A parent turning you against your other parent

A parent working to turn you against your other parent, through badmouthing, guilt, loyalty tests, or rewriting what actually happened between them. Whether or not you also lost contact with that parent, and whether you can now see clearly what was happening or are still sorting out what was true.

A child believes the parent in front of them, because that parent is the one raising them and the one they depend on. That trust is exactly what gets used when a parent sets out to turn a child against the other one. You did not choose a side. A side was built for you, out of material you had no way to check at the time.

What can follow an experience like this

No two people carry the same experience the same way. These are some of the effects that people with this experience often describe. Having some of them, all of them, or none of them says nothing about how real what happened to you was.

Shame Not guilt about something you did. Self-abandonment When you grew up learning that your needs were inconvenient, dangerous, or simply irrelevant, you stopped tracking them. Not trusting your own memory Second guessing what you remember. Trust issues Trust that was broken, repeatedly, by people who were supposed to be safe. Depression Not just sadness. Anxiety The background hum of dread that is always there. Identity disturbance Not being able to answer simple questions about yourself. Rage Anger that comes fast, feels bigger than the situation, or has caused harm to relationships or situations.

Nothing on this page is a diagnosis, and nothing here decides what is wrong with you, because nothing is wrong with you. Something happened to you. This page exists so that when you are ready, you can find people who understand it from the inside.

You do not have to carry this alone.

Bridge of Hope Recovery is a free, anonymous, peer-led fellowship for trauma survivors. Meetings run throughout the week by phone, by video, and in person. No cost, no waitlist, no one asking for your real name.

Find a meeting Join the fellowship

Need support right now?

Related experiences we cover

See everything we cover