An effect of trauma
Making yourself small or invisible
Anticipating what others need before they ask. Agreeing when you disagree. Shrinking when you want to take up space. Apologizing for your existence. Making yourself as unobtrusive as possible because somewhere you learned that being visible was dangerous. This is not politeness. It is the nervous system running a program that says: if I am small enough, agreeable enough, useful enough, I will be safe.
One more thing worth saying plainly: this began as protection. At some point it was the thing that got you through. If it is still running now that the danger has passed, that is not a flaw in you. It is proof of how hard something once worked to keep you safe.
It can sound like
If any of those sentences live in your head too, you are in good company here.
Nothing on this page is a diagnosis, and nothing here decides what is wrong with you, because nothing is wrong with you. Something happened to you. This page exists so that when you are ready, you can find people who understand it from the inside.
You do not have to carry this alone.
Bridge of Hope Recovery is a free, anonymous, peer-led fellowship for trauma survivors. Meetings run throughout the week by phone, by video, and in person. No cost, no waitlist, no one asking for your real name.