An effect of trauma

Thoughts about not wanting to be here

Thoughts about not existing anymore. Wishing you could disappear. Wondering if people would be better off without you. Planning or thinking about ways to end your life. These thoughts exist on a spectrum and all of them deserve to be taken seriously. Having them does not make you broken or dangerous. It means you are in more pain than you currently have tools to manage. That is something that can change.

It can sound like

“I do not want to be here.” “I think about ending it.” “I just want the pain to stop.” “I am not okay.” “I wonder if anyone would notice if I was gone.”

If any of those sentences live in your head too, you are in good company here.

Experiences this often follows

Effects do not come from nowhere. These are some of the experiences that people who carry this one often describe. You do not need to have been through any of them for what you feel to be real.

Nothing on this page is a diagnosis, and nothing here decides what is wrong with you, because nothing is wrong with you. Something happened to you. This page exists so that when you are ready, you can find people who understand it from the inside.

You do not have to carry this alone.

Bridge of Hope Recovery is a free, anonymous, peer-led fellowship for trauma survivors. Meetings run throughout the week by phone, by video, and in person. No cost, no waitlist, no one asking for your real name.

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